Girly Girl

I've been dealing with this strange feeling of neutrality regarding my gender and sexuality. Kind of like being androgynous but not looking it. (My curves are Way too pronounced for me to be called androgynous by looks alone.)

So, I went out last night, got tipsy, dressed nice and danced my heart out. I just emptied myself of anything but the music and let it take over my body. I'm told I dance amazingly when I'm like that, in the dance trance. *shrug* I'm too into it to even care.

But suddenly I felt like a woman, I felt my body moving in provocative ways, felt the waves of pheromones rolling off of me and I noticed the men who were watching me from the sidelines, the men who were getting closer and closer to me on the dance floor. I had to laugh aloud, I remembered what it feels like to be a woman and I was enjoying it.

I'm not sure what happened to neuter me like that, even during sex I didn't feel like a woman. But that identification with my gender is back. Not to say that suddenly I will want to run out and get involved in long discussions about dime store romances and domestic issues (if I'm sexist it's against my own gender - I know, I know...) but I'm definitely starting to feel sexy again.

I'm dancing on the lines, we are all genders (there's more than 2) within our psyches. It seems I've had a taste of feeling solely like each at least once in this life so far.