Life training

This one will be short, I'm excessively tired.

All we experience in life trains us, equips us to handle anything that comes our way a little better each time.

I think of it as, there is something(s) I am supposed to do with this life, if I don't have the experience I need to know how to accomplish it/them correctly, then I will not be able to do what it is I am ultimately here for or at least not very effectively. (I think I chose my path before I animated this shell, maybe it's just easier to cope with than Divine Will or Destiny or Fate.)

I think that we must go through both good and bad things, to show us where our boundaries need to be, to show us our strengths, skills, talents and our weaknesses, inabilities, fears. We must learn new ways of being before we are able to understand what kind of personal mountain we are attempting to climb.

Just as someone who is an actual mountaineer must train themselves and learn a lot through experience before attempting Mt. Everest. Or an athlete can go to the Olympics.

Whatever your personal goals are, you must train and get experience before realizing them. I think this goes for anything in your life which comes with difficulty.

Example: (Since half of my friends and I are single with dating issues.) Instead of looking at every failed relationship you have endured as proof that you should be alone and cannot be in a successful one - instead, look at it as training and experience for when the person who will suit you the best comes along. Maybe you both have habits which are not usually conducive to a healthy relationship, however, in the experiences you learn through, you are able to change the destructive patterns and become better equipped to accept faults in others, or if not accept fully, at least know how to work with them.

If you looked at the pattern of what was the common denominator among all of your past lovers, what would it be? It's the thing that attracts you the most, so, if it's not normally considered a positive characteristic to be attracted to - does that mean that it is Always a negative one? Or is it just nasty when displayed in extremes?

I tend to choose those who are unavailable or very withdrawn and silent. I know why I am attracted to this, it's absurdly obvious - but I don't always see the signs until I have allowed my emotions to commit. I've even thought in the past "This one is totally available, no way I've picked another one." Only to be smacked in the head with their special brand of it.

However, I am really all that available? No, not really, I'm a self-proclaimed misanthrope after all, one is normally silent in big groups and has problems being in the outside world. So I am attracted to those who are like me because it is comfortable, but it hasn't worked because I habitually have picked those who not only don't like interacting with the world at large - they also don't want to interact with me that much either.

Does this mean I give up? Nope, it means I learn the lessons, pick myself up, brush myself off and say, now I know something new. Eventually all of the experiences will help me to see and accept the person who wants the same back from me. Possibly this has already happened, possibly not. Either way, I'm still learning, training, becoming more equipped to face and achieve my life in the best way I can.

I am slowly accepting myself and I like me, there's some things which still need a lot of change and growth - but I hope to be able to say this until the day I die. Accepting the negative experiences as necessary for learning how to not just survive but thrive is an integral part of my growth, how about you?

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