Slowly shifting forward

Today was a difficult day to say the least. I was faced with that which I am almost retarded against. Red tape bureaucracy, both governmental and corporate. The Dept. of Motor Vehicles (DMV) and my old Auto Insurance Company.

I get so angry and shocked by how horribly people in these industries treat others, I lose it and can no longer focus at all. I go from being intellectually appalled to a babbling, stuttering, hysterical fool in T-. Almost literally, it drives me insane, because in order for me not to get in trouble with Ceasar - I have to play this games, even though I know they are 100% Grade A(sshole) Bullshit.

I use the social systems because I have a skewed philosophy - I don't believe in the value of our money. I think it, credit and the entire financial institution system of the US are all fallacies. I think we should have to do away with the use of it, find a better way which puts the possibilities in the hands of all once again. Since I'm considered a citizen who cannot be placed in any nitch within the workers system, I'm paid to stay out of it. Literally, that was what the deciding judge said. So I use the money and the systems to survive, but it's like robbing Peter to pay Peter. Paul doesn't even enter into the equation, unless you have something to trade, like a skill or a handcrafted item. But that's community, not nation. And as a US "orphan" - I use the money and the time given me by Peter, to make and do things for Paul, though I'm still paying Peter back most of it anyway. To utilities, housing, food - the survival stuff, but the good stuff definitely is a swap with Paul anyday.

AnyWhoo. I was ping ponged back and forth between gov't and corporate for 4+ hrs today, just on the phone. It is still unresolved, but they had to go home after dealing with me all day at about 5pm. The Insurance Company is jerkin my chain so hard, the DMV lady felt bad for me and is supposedly going to bat with the Company herself to get the information I tried 3 times to get myself.

I started out with my tantrum, I was livid - I have been shafted, hardcore by certain Insurance people who didn't do their jobs and refuse to take responsibility for it. I lost my driver's license because of it - however, I lost it in Janurary and am just today finding out about it. Because nobody told me and my insurance agent didn't do their job. I paid for insurance that didn't count for ANYTHING for 8 months. Over $560 worth of useless insurance because they failed to inform the DMV I still had my court-ordered insurance and nobody told me, I didn't get a final "You're license is suspended" letter or anything. It happens, the mail sucks.

But as I went back and forth like Pong between the two places, I calmed. I pushed through the confusion, I regained my focus and I got things accomplished.

I got insurance on my car, so that no matter what I'm not driving uninsured. (I bought a car, by the way. lol) I got the lady at the DMV to go to bat for me and help me in a situation I cannot conquer myself. Tomorrow I go get emissions and temp tags, hopefully I wrap up the DL thing as well. I'm crossing my fingers that it all works out in my favor.

This is a first for me, usually I have total meltdown and lose everything in the process.
I'm proud of myself for calming and making the first step towards being able to function without losing it at all.