Good revelations

What to write? There's too much right now going through my brain.

I am learning new things about me, good things this time.

I spent all weekend with a new friend, he's great and we had a lot of fun. Everything is so comfortable around him, it's an extremely rare thing for me - I always feel awkward, even around my close friends most of the time. Either he is too polite to speak when I am annoying or he's one of the most patient and understanding people I have met in forever. (Hi! Thanks again!)

It's an odd sensation to spend so much time in constant company with one person and not go into the "I need space!" freak out. I didn't feel the urge to correct or explain myself in simple terms or repeat myself over and over to get a point across. I think I've been hanging out with guys who don't have as much in the braincase as I do, being around one who most likely has more upstairs than me is such a breath of fresh air.

(And for my girlfriends reading this - Hi Ethel! No, we're not dating or making with the sweet lovins, I think he's going to be an awesome friend for a long time. Yes, we've talked about it and I feel safe in saying this with certainty. :)

And he doesn't cling! (snoopy dance) He's an awesome companion to hang out with and wander around doing geeky stuff with. I'm relaxed in his company at all times, this is a first for me, usually it takes me a long, long time to get over my awkwardness with new people in my life.

(You know, M, it feels weird talking about this knowing you'll be reading it... I refuse to stop being open on this blog though, I hope it's okay with you.)

So I'm not adverse to being around someone for a long period of time - it's just been a while since I've met someone new whom I feel able to do so with. There are a few others I can be around for long stretches with no problems, like my good friend Xander - we've traveled together so often we have a routine and pattern down to save sanity. There's also my friend Bobzilla who lives in Berkley - we have a ton of fun together, no strings or expectations. I think I wear on my girlfriends' nerves a bit after a while, I'm kinda high strung. ;)

I'm really tired from the weekend and my back hurts from sleeping on an old single mattress on the floor last night.

I'm going to get over my aversion to public transportation. I think I'm going to get an mp3 player, maybe I can ask for one for Christmas - the not-an-ipods are cheaper now. Though I've already asked for a trip to the optomitrist and help with buying glasses if I need them. Which is more important. Maybe I can sell a painting to get the money for a player... I think having a sound barrier between me and the other passengers would help tremendously. That way I can't hear the abuse they heap on each other and if I've got my nose in a book, I won't see it either. It's pathetic that I want to be able to ignore prejudice behavior instead of confronting it - but I'm tired of confrontation.

...

I'm tired of confrontation. So why do I keep confronting people? Hmmm. Maybe it's time to lay off for a while and just let people be. I think I'm going to be quiet on my disgruntled problems and see how that goes for me.

Ok I'm exhausted and can't type very well at the moment, my OCD editing is making this take for freakin' ever to write too. X)

Till next time, same bat time, same bat channel.